From its hiding place behind the Kotex pads, Mommy brings out the Lydia O'Leary Covermark set she bought when I was a baby-a pink plastic jar of flesh-colored makeup, smaller jars of white and brown for blending, and a cardboard box full of white powder. Mommy studies the directions. Slowly, she begins to work on my face, patting and pressing the thick pigment onto my cheek and eyelid with her fingertips.

She tells me to keep checking in the mirror until I am satisfied that the stain is covered. Blending the colors on the back of her hand, she pats layer after layer of makeup on my cheek and around my eye. She dips a cotton ball into the cardboard box and blankets my face with a great blizzard of white powder. We have to wait for ten minutes while the powder sets before she can brush off the excess and sponge my face with water for a "natural" finish.

I run to the mirror, hoping to see a beautiful princess, but I look like I'm wearing a Halloween mask, disguised as a ghost. So Mommy adds some of her own rouge and eyebrow pencil.

"Mommy, I look more horrible than ever! If I smile my face will crack!"

Mommy sits quietly. "That's why I never showed it to you," she says. "You're not ready to wear makeup yet. You can wear it when you get older, if you want to."

From "Marked for Life, a memoir"

When I wrote those words in my memoir, Marked for Life, I tried to imagine what my mother must have been feeling at that moment. Only as an adult, could I begin to imagine how difficult it must have been for her.

Since then, through the Birthmarks.com website, I have had the opportunity to correspond with many parents who have been in my mother's position and experienced her dilemma. My mother tried concealing the birthmark on my seven year-old face because I begged her to do it. Recently, my sister told me that Mommy also covered my birthmark for school pictures and special occasions, although those memories, perhaps because they were painful, have disappeared. When my sister told me how jealous she had been, watching my mother apply "Joie's special makeup," I struggled to remember.

For any parent, the decision to camouflage a child's birthmark must be a difficult one. The desire to protect a child from unkind remarks and unwanted attention must be very strong. Almost as strong as the need to let the child know that he or she is perfect and beautiful just the way she is.

I have read postings from parents who makeup babies before taking them outside. And I have read warm and wise comments from parents who would never dream of doing such a thing.

Jessica wrote: I have never and would never put makeup on Macy to cover her mark. Actually since she was born I have discontinued the use of cover up makeup myself for my own blemishes. The thought of it actually makes me feel guilty. I don't want her to see me covering up silly pimples or blemishes giving her the impression that I am embarrassed or ashamed of something so minor. When she realizes completely that she has a birthmark, I don't want her to feel as though she has to cover it up. That is a decision she can make on her own when she is old enough.

Now that she is almost three and aware of just about everything, I see her watching me put on eye makeup and she always wants to do it too. If she saw me putting on cover up, she would definitely want to do it herself and I just don't want her to think that it is a necessary to cover up. I want her to grow up to be strong and confident woman, and don't want to give her any reason to think other.

Annette B. wrote: I have never put makeup on my daughter's PWS. I am trying to treat her PWS as a normal thing - she is no different from anyone else; some kids wear glasses, some have brown hair, some blonde...that kind of thing. To me, to try to cover it or hide it would do her a great disservice - she has to live with it and deal with it for the rest of her life, and not be ashamed of it or self-conscious about it. It's a hard thing for a parent because it pulls at my heart strings on a daily basis, wondering if she is going to have problems in school, not be accepted, or worse, ever exhibit further signs (seizures) or SWS. But you know, she is healthy, happy, developmentally normal, etc., so I count my blessings and thank God for that everyday. It could be sooo much worse - other parents deal with such awful things.

And, since she's a female and already watches me put on my makeup, its only a matter of time 'til she chooses to wear it herself. Hopefully it won't be just to 'hide' her birthmark!

And from Claire's mum, Catherine: A friend was over once and we were talking about Claire. One thing led to another, and she commented that she would love to put make up on her just to see how she would look (Claire was under 2 at this time). I must have reacted a bit about that, and so the commented was sort of retracted with "once she gets older". I said that we just take her into our bathroom and the birthmark disappears under the orange globe that is in there. That suffices for me, and I will always let Claire make up her mind later about make up.

For parents of boys with facial birthmarks, the decision may be even more difficult.

Mobb Leashie wrote: My son, Shelby, 14 months has a PWS on the right side of his face, I don't know if it is ok for boys to wear makeup under these circumstances or not, When I had my son's first pictures taken I put some foundation from Mary Kay on him, it didn't cover that well but he didn't care one way or another. I put it on just so I wouldn't have to explain to all of the relatives when they received the pictures what it was, and at the time he was still a baby and I was still dealing with the birthmark myself.

Sandy the mother of a five year-old son, wrote: When I first saw the emails pouring in about the make up, I thought no way would I let cover his birth mark. That is a part of him. Then I read some of the emails and thought if it makes him feel better about himself why not? He thinks he is pretty cool having a special birthmark. He believes everyone has a birthmark some where on their bodies.

Through the newsgroup, I was also able to share my memories of wearing makeup as a child.

Victoria wrote: I remember being about 11-12 years old and my mom took me to John A Browns department store because she had just found out about Lydia O Leary makeup and thought I would be excited about it. I remember sitting on a stool in the middle of the store and literally attracting a crowd of people to watch me be "transformed". I was so upset but I did not let it show because I did not want my mom to feel like she had done the wrong thing. I went home and cried for hours.

People acted like I was deaf and I heard my appearance discussed in ways you cannot imagine. I did eventually start to wear the make up and also was made fun of due to the thickness of it. Seems like either way someone is going to poke at you! Now I wear some makeup but do not bother to try to cover it up anymore. I think it should be up to the person-whether or nor they are a kid or adult.

And Vikki wrote: My mother never gave me a choice. She put makeup on my pws everyday. We never spoke of it and that was hard. I only remember a few times going without and feeling naked!! Back then the only choice was Lydia O'Leary Covermark. It was terrribly thick and made me white as a ghost. Kids made fun of me for that, but I suppose they became used to me and the teasing was not too often. As an adult I never go out without makeup. I'm not sure if it is just habit or a deeper fear.

Chris wrote: I wore make up daily since elementary school. But when I started living with so many other females in a dorm at college, I came to realize that each and every one of them did things in their routine of life to feel better about themselves. From getting their hair permed to dermatology routines, to lip waxing, etc. (none of which I had to deal with). I am sure that all of them felt it as a minor inconvenience (and not something to brag about) but a personal choice in dealing with appearance. I doubt they felt "guilty" so why should I? I wear makeup also to avoid the stares and comments- this decision has been "right" for me.

Perhaps some of the wisest comments came from Kathryn, who wrote:

As a parent, I always had makeup available for Kayleigh to try on if she wanted to use it or felt like experimenting. When she started 7th grade it became part of her morning routine. Like anyone else, it makes her feel put together and polished. When people make comments we say, "Kayleigh takes very good care of herself". She hears from some of new her more "boyish" peers that she wears too much make up and, if she had clear skin I might agree, but if you wear a heavy foundation it is important to also wear eye makeup or the eyes get lost in the foundation. The makeup has a tendency to make her look older than 13 years...coupled with the grace of her ballet dancing she is often mistaken for a high schooler. Since she started wearing makeup she doesn't have to answer as many questions about her birthmark, it's no longer the focus of her day and that is a good thing. She feels good about herself and life is much easier. There are many ways to build confidence in our children; I don't think makeup builds confidence it just makes you feel good like putting on a new pair of jeans that fit right.

And as an adult who has lived all her life with a facial port wine stain, I applaud Vikki, who wrote:

Keep the lines of communication with your kids open and let them know they are okay with or without makeup.

For kids and parents who make the decision to wear makeup, there are so many options out there today. As any parent knows, it's not easy to get a little one to stand still long enough to execute an intricate makeup job, so try to find something quick and easy to apply. And little faces can feel weighed down by makeup we adults would barely notice. Some good ones to try:

• Estee Lauder Maximum Cover. Comes in a tube, requires no powder and lasts all day. The downside: It's not available in a wide range of colors.
• Jane Iredale Mineral Foundation. A miracle powder that goes on with a fluffy brush powder. Sets with a spray of water. It gives amazing coverage and is easy to apply. Several other companies make similar products, but I've had great luck with this one. Covermark now makes a lighter foundation called Face Magic which is also a good option.
• You can get good results from inexpensive drugstore products such as Covergirl AquaSmooth, a lightweight compact makeup that goes on in a flash.

Whatever you choose, it's important that you don't focus on trying to block out the mark completely. You'd be surprised how few people will notice if you simply tone the color down a bit. It's much less obvious than a heavily made-up little face, which is more likely to draw attention.

For more choices, go to the products listing at Birthmarks.com: Makeup Products.